This fun post is sponsored by Little Debbie. Enjoy ☺️.

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Little known fun fact about me: I am not a morning person.

And before we go any further here, I think we really need to clarify what it means to say, “I'm not a morning person.” Because I feel like that phrase gets casually thrown around a little too often. Kind of like a teenage “I love you,” on the first date. Or the size four who is constantly complaining that she's bloated.

So, for clarification purposes:

If you can make it down the stairs without falling, you're a morning person.

If you can make it through an interaction with your spouse that isn't grounds for divorce, you're a morning person.

If you are cognizant enough before 8:00am to know the day of the week and if your clock is displaying in AM or PM– then get out of my way. You're a morning person.

If you can get out the door at a specified time between the hours of 6:00am and 10:30am, then you are NOT under any circumstances allowed to use the phrase “I'm not a morning person.” Because that most definitely qualifies you as a morning person.

Me? I am not a morning person.

This adorable little twerp, however, is very much a morning person.

Darn her.

Ugh. And so is her dad. ????

Which means I'm hurting everyone's feelings left and right as I fumble my way through our odious morning routine of finding her school uniform, brushing teeth, brushing hair, packing the backpack, packing lunch, and sending her out the door.

Honestly, the less I have to say in the morning (or even think about for that matter), the better for everyone involved.

And after my bajillionth “FOR-THE-LOVE-OF-EVERYTHING-WILL-YOU-PUT-YOUR-SOCKS-ON-AND GET-DOWNSTAIRS-YOU'RE-GOING-TO-BE-LATE,” I am just seriously not mentally equipped to answer questions about breakfast. Or what went in the lunchbox. Or commit to babysitting her imaginary unicorn/puppy/whatever.

Which leads me to a big, fat THANK YOU to Little Debbie® for bringing into existence Little Debbie® Mini Muffins and Mini Brownies.

What's for breakfast mom? Blueberry muffins.

What did you pack for my snack? Brownies.

Great Mom, thanks. Now go back to bed and just curl up with a good book for the entire day. And tomorrow too. I'll take care of the dishes and the laundry and the general cleanliness and organization of our household when I get home from school– on my own of course, no need for you to sit in carpool for agonizing hours on end waiting for me. And I'll grab a donut and a pint of your favorite ice cream for your afternoon date with the couch in front of Gilmore Girls…

Wait. Somewhere in there I think drifted from reality.

But you know. You get the picture.

So, Moms of 7a.m., rest easy. Little Debbie® has you covered. And while you're waiting in carpool, be sure to follow Little Debbie® on Facebook and Instagram!