Something Swanky

Flourless Chocolate Cake

Deep, dark, and insanely rich. This chocolate cake is simple to make and, since it contains no flour, is incredibly dense. Each bite melts in your mouth like a truffle!

This deep, dark chocolate cake is incredibly rich and moist. And it is SO easy to make. You'll impress your friends and family with this recipe!

If I could reach through the screen and pull you into my kitchen today, I’d slice up a piece (or 5) of this cake, give you a glass of milk, and force you to listen to me whine all about my weekend. And you wouldn’t really mind, because you’d have this cake.

So. Why don’t you go ahead and get start on the cake in your own kitchen, and I’ll go ahead and start my whining. Mmkay?

My weekend basically went like this:

Friday 3pm-ish: Super excited for our family weekend excursion to Washington DC to go see our BYU Cougars play! We’ll be leaving any minute.

6pm-ish… maybe even 7pm? Pulling out of town like a herd of turtles.

7:30pm: CJ starts crying. 3 hours and 45 minutes to go!

11:00pm: Emma’s still awake. CJ is STILL crying. And it¬†finally occurs to me to check his diaper, which seems to relieve his discomfort. At this point, the three adults in the car are losing it.

11:30pm: arrive at the hotel. Check in. Lug everything to the room. Get the kids in the bath tub.

11:45pm: CJ poops in the tub. A LOT.

Sometime after midnight: kids are in PJs, concierge has brought up cleaning supplies for the tub, kids are running around the hotel room like hooligans. Finally coerce everyone to fall asleep.

This deep, dark chocolate cake is incredibly rich and moist. And it is SO easy to make. You'll impress your friends and family with this recipe!

Saturday 7am: everybody’s up. Which is good. I’d hate for either of the kids to be well rested or anything. ūüôĄ

10am Р1:30pm: driving back and forth between hotels dropping my brother off with his friends; trying to visit the DC temple which ended up being closed for cleaning; walking around the grounds in hopes of still creating special memories for the kids who whined and cried and complained and pooped (CJ) the whole time; arguing with my husband over whether or not CJ can carry around his security blanket (I say yes, Chris says no).

1:30pm: my uncle got us into the sold-out BYU tailgating party before the game! We had a great time, ate yummy food, and the kids were happy and entertained for a little while.

3:30pm: arrive at FedEx Field for the big game. CJ has finally conked out in his carseat, so I offer to stay in the car and work while he sleeps, sending Chris and Emma into the stadium. I figure I’ll get at least 90 minutes of quiet work time (and cut that much time off of what I have to endure in the stadium).

3:45pm: CJ wakes up and is CRANKY. And has a poopy diaper. Obviously. I change him in the front seat of the van (always a good time), and lug him the 80 bazillion miles to the stadium in my arms. After yelling at a man scalping tickets (that I¬†don’t need tickets, I need a babysitter!!!), yelling at the man who tried to tell me I couldn’t take a teeny-tiny diaper bag into the stadium (I called ahead, and they definitely said I could), I finally dump CJ into my husband’s arms and flee to¬†the nasty women’s bathroom to sob (just for a minute)¬†and allow my arm to un-cramp from “baby carry” position.

4:00pm: game time. There were a couple of fun, exciting moments. Emma got to meet the cheerleaders (although I actually missed this part, since I was lugging a screaming tot from the van to the stadium where strollers aren’t allowed), and at one point we thought we might actually win the game. But other than that, it was basically 3 hours of wrestling CJ away from gross stuff on the ground. I spilled my full, non-refillable diet coke, and CJ puked (not like baby spit-up, actual puke)¬†on my seat… which I discovered when I looked down to find him playing in it. Emma fell apart at the concession stand when they told us that they were out of popcorn (it was like the second quarter!) and wouldn’t serve her nachos without BBQ sauce on it. We ended up with Sour Patch Kids that cost $5.

Then there was the part where BYU lost. Also, not so fun.

This deep, dark chocolate cake is incredibly rich and moist. And it is SO easy to make. You'll impress your friends and family with this recipe!

And, I’m sorry to keep whining, but truly… the good times just kept on rolling!

We went to Shake Shack for dinner. Which was actually awesome. Shake Shack is my burger of choice, hands down. And the concretes are on point.

On the long drive home, the kids fell asleep (yay!) but frequently woke and moaned and cried. And the personal hotspot on my phone didn’t work. So all that work time I thought I’d be getting in on the drive didn’t happen.

Oh, and here’s the cherry on top of everything: we pulled into my parents’ driveway around 1:30am to drop off my brother. The moment Chris’s foot hit the brakes….. Emma wakes and, after 4 massive heaves, upchucks everything she’s eaten all weekend.

The ruckus wakes CJ. And my parents wake up to me dragging my barf-covered girl up the stairs for a bath.

Eventually, somewhere around 2am, we were home and got the kids to bed. Somewhere around 4am, Chris and I finally passed out too.

This deep, dark chocolate cake is incredibly rich and moist. And it is SO easy to make. You'll impress your friends and family with this recipe!

And THAT was my weekend. My stupid, expensive, not-fun weekend.

I decided that the only remedy to¬†my¬†weekend was a cake. So I made a cake, and I didn’t photograph it, and I ate over half of it right out of the pan with a fork and my fingers. It was glorious and perfect and exactly what I needed.

And, trust me, this cake is¬†exactly what you’re needing too. It¬†is Monday after all, am I right?

This cake fixes EVERYTHING. It’s basically a chocolate truffle. A round, cake-shaped chocolate truffle covered in more chocolate. No flour means that this cake utterly melts in your mouth. It’s heavenly. And¬†easy to make too.

I like to take a bite, close my eyes, and pretend that I live in a world without kid poop.

What are your cake-eating daydreams about?

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